Lately I’ve seen a smattering of my mummy friends on Facebook sharing anti-tech posts, you know, the ones that actively diss mothers who throw an iPad in their toddlers direction during a temper tantrum or tell you how technology for kids is frying the brains of today’s youth and causing a zombie apocalypse (which I’m pretty confident we can thank Justin Bieber for… just sayin’.)
These posts are usually accompanied by the following status and ideally a whimsical photo of the precious offspring:
“Oh I couldn’t agree more with this! What an honest and truthful article!! I’m so desperately saddened when I see Mother’s giving their children their mobile phones or iPads in a cafe or out and about – it’s truly tragic. Today myself and X experienced the wilderness in its purest form, interacting with squirrels and wild rabbits in the woods. Just as I remember my own beautiful and blessed childhood. There really is no need for technology before the age of 37.”
Alright Snow White, we get it. You don’t “do” tech, but d’ya wanna fuck off with the sanctimonious bullshit? Please and thanks. The thing is, I’d kindly like to point out that, while interacting with nature is a truly beautiful and wonderful thing for our children to do, this is NOT 1980. This is not the world you grew up in, and these kids are not of your generation. They are termed the digital generation for a reason sweetheart, and it’s not because of terrible mother’s like myself that forgot to teach them how to whittle their own stick to match the one you have firmly lodged up your arse. It’s because everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, is digital now. From finance to food, everything can and often is done online or via some fashion of electronics. You bank online. You find recipes for that special Mother’s Day dinner online. Your boss asks you to file away an invoice for your latest client, you better believe their will be a digital version.
Everything is done online. Seriously, we’re one shade away from being the cast of The Matrix and you want to talk about being anti-tech?!
Here’s the thing, I’m not suggesting that you sit your kids in front of a tablet 24/7, I’m not saying that they should be online gaming by the age of 6, but I am saying you need to get off your high horse a little bit. I find the very fact that you share an online article about being anti-tech for kids to be hilariously ironic – I had you pegged as purely the print kinda gal. My eldest attends a Forest School, which means he has a significant portion of his learning time outside, but he also has an iPad at school. He can build a den, identify habitats and he’s a beast at I spy because his phonics are the bomb. He can also swim further than any other child in his year or the year above him – completely unaided. You know what else he can do? He can understand certain basic computer codings. He can type his name and a short sentence and he can troll his way through most EYFS games for numeracy and literacy, not to mention beat his Dad at their transformers game. He’s 4.
I find the whole “we avoid tech” thing bizarre, but I respect your choice. I appreciate that you aren’t deliberately trying to hold your child back because you want to be a fashionable mum who does “the right” thing. I’m not judging you for the fact that you would rather your child sat and had a temper tantrum in the restaurant, disturbing everyone else in there, because you don’t want to stoop to a bit of YouTube toy unboxing. That’s cool. You carry on with your thing mama, you clearly have this sorted and Nanny McPhee hasn’t got shit on you. Meanwhile, me and my digital generation kids will be over here watching HobbyKidsTv and finding out how awesome the new limited edition Frozen Kinder Egg toys are.