Do you ever get this mum (or mom) guilt? Come on, you all know what I’m talking about, and I don’t know if it is the fact that I am over tired at the moment from all of the late nights working and then 4am wake ups (cheers Tobes), but I have been really aching with Mum guilt. This last week has been so filled with temper tantrums, brotherly scraps, back chat, overtired-ness and general stress that I have given up feeling guilty. So here is my mum guilt for this week in all it’s glory.
I had to leave the kids to work, Reuben was poorly at the time. Mum guilt.
I was too burnt out to cook tea and heated up a pizza. Mum guilt.
I cooked a wonderful tea and dessert, the boys ate nothing, and Toby threw his food on the floor. I flipped. Mum guilt.
I shouted so loud when Reuben hit Toby for the 80 millionth time that day, that he cried and told me I was a baddie. Mum guilt.
I had to walk out of the room because I physically couldn’t control the rage building up inside when Toby started to scream for no apparent reason other that I couldn’t pick him up (I was cooking the aforementioned wonderful tea at the time). Mum guilt.
I put a movie on for the kids. At 6am. Followed by 4 more because I needed to work after falling asleep on the sofa and nearly missing a deadline the night before. Mum guilt.
I told Reuben he couldn’t have another toy this week because it was too expensive, but really it wasn’t, I just don’t want more toys in my house. Mum guilt.
I snapped at my husband because he was being inconsiderate, he snapped back. The boys heard and asked us why we were fighting. We had to hug it out to appease them. Mum guilt.
I forgot to drop Reuben’s bag that contains all his changes of clothes in case he has accidents at preschool. He did have an accident that day. Mum guilt.
Toby fell off the ladder to the play house outside. I turned my back for one second to help Reuben untangle his toy from a net. Mum guilt.
I moved bedtime back an hour, just to stop the whining and screaming and generally demonic behaviour that has been coming from my boys this week. Mum guilt.
If you can honestly look at this list and say you have never had anything similar then please, impart your wisdom, because us mere mortal mamas seem to get this all of the time. Mum guilt can’t be avoided, but one thing we can do is not judge each other, and offer support. And wine, we should offer each other wine.
So mama, if you are feeling guilty because you have some preconceived notion of what you should have done for your kids this week then know this: what you did do, what you always do, is love your children enough to put yourself through the guilt, the stress and the worry. That will shine through, always (even if you cooked them pizza and sat them in front of movies for 6 hours back to back.)