It’s Mother’s Day, not Grandmother’s day. What’s up with that?

Mother's Day not Grandmother's day via Toby & Roo :: daily inspiration for stylish parents and their kids.

I do love Mother’s Day, don’t you? I love Father’s Day now that we have kids for the same reasons really, I love to celebrate that we are parents and the boys get so excited about giving us something!

One thing I’ve never understood, and it’s an area that me and Adam differed on a lot when we were younger, is gift or card giving to Grandparents on those special days. So I want to know, do you do it?

When I first had Reuben I was so ill that I ended up back in hospital for quite a time, and I had only just come back out when it was Mother’s Day. I was recovering from septicaemia that had developed from an infection in my c-section wound. I was so very ill, I could hardly get off the sofa so of course Adam had to go up and see his Mum on his own on Mother’s Day. With Reuben being bottle fed due to the illness (which devastated me enough), that meant Adam could leave me to sleep while he took Roo to have a visit with Grandma. All pretty normal Mother’s Day stuff, until he came home to tell me not to worry, he’d bought a Grandmother’s card from the shop on the way, and handed my mum a card too!

I was hormonal and, to be blunt, pretty depressed having had all my expectations of new motherhood trollied by this illness. I remember looking at Adam and just bursting into tears. How dare he take my baby up to his mother and gift her with a card, it’s my day god damn it and I was struggling enough to enjoy it as it was. I wasn’t the only one surprised because my mum was equally confused to receive a card “from Reuben” and wasn’t really sure what to do with hers!

Pretty silly of me to melt down, I know. But hey, hormones and after everything I had been through I was going to be damned if anyone else was sharing the Mother’s Day vibe with my son.

After my initial upset and the replacing of the dummy to my mouth, we had a chat and it turns out that this “grandparent” card giving is the norm for Adam, and millions of other people, whereas I had never had that experience. In my family, Mother’s Day was and is for my mum not for my Grandmother or anyone else, yet Adam always bought his Grandma a card.

I find the whole thing odd, it is Mother’s Day and despite having a fundamental role with my children, my mother and mother in law are not their Mother, nor would either of them want to be or try to be. I also know that there is Grandparents day, but this seems to have been ditched of late in favour of gift giving on the respective gender day (mother or father).

Is it something that you do in your family? If not do you remember it being done when you were younger or is this a new commercialisation that is merited purely by its ability to grab a few extra quid from the consumer when they are already spending.

Since talking about it with Adam we came to the conclusion that we wouldn’t give gifts to our parents from our children on Mother’s/Father’s day, so that has become our norm for our boys, though we do make sure that our Mother’s always get a card from us.

H x

64 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Lisa
    May 4, 2022 / 2:09 pm

    Barring and setting aside the gift giving from the grandchild, but really who cares ANYWAY?? its teaching your child how to love and appreciate the MOTHER of HIS parents in his life…This is one of the most selfish things Ive read in a long time! My own daughter juts told my husband that because she is a mother now its basically about them now and it being their day. Note, my SIL has siblings who also don’t see their own mother because they have families and children and do their own thing as well! She is a woman who raised her 3 children ALONE! So of course my daughter has to follow whatever he does or doesn’t do because it wouldn’t be fair, rolling eyes here. If it wasn’t for mothers they wouldn’t be here to be mothers themselves! My daughter told my husband she was planning on sending a gift, lol. I NEVER expect a gift from my grandchildren on mother’s day and I won’t this week either, and to set the record straight I can probably bet most of the grandmothers out there do NOT think its about them and their grandkids, but about being recognized and appreciated as a MOTHER, NOT Grandmother, we sit in silence and say nothing, but don’t think for one second your selfish ME ME ME doesn’t hurt. None of us mothers is trying to steal any of our adult childrens thunder of being mothers now but just because you are a mother doesn’t erase your own mother now. Shame on you…

    • Harriet May 5, 2022 / 10:58 am

      Who said anything about detracting from it being about Mothers? I think it’s exceptionally important as adult children to celebrate your mother – providing you have a good relationship or they are around to do so – and not just on mother’s day… but MY children do not need to because I am their mother. It’s not really a hard one to grasp…
      You sound like every narcissistic parent who just doesn’t like that their child found independence – how DARE your daughter not coming running when you expect her to.

      • Avatar
        Lisa
        May 5, 2022 / 3:30 pm

        the only narcissistic one here is the author, QUOTE:
        How dare he take my baby up to his mother and gift her with a card, it’s my day god damn day…??? selfish much???

        And for the record nowhere did I say I expected my kids to come running, my point was that just because you are a mother now doesn’t mean YOUR mother is now designated to grandmother and has their own day now when it comes to your children, that’s selfish and quite stupid honestly . And it DOES elude to juts that so spare me your “who said anything about blah blah blahhh”. That entire post sounds like a veiled resentment fueled rant at her mother in law.

        I don’t receive a gift from my grandchildren nor do I expect to, but I did give my own daughter a gift for her first mothers day, but this clearly seems like maybe I shouldn’t have because after all she’s not MY mother! lol!I have a great relationship with my daughter and son in law, we are very close and see each other regularly, BUT the very comment about it being about HER day struck a nerve. . And I was shocked to come online and see that SO MANY women in that same age group feel the same way. What about the mothers out there who are alone for whatever reasons and because some people think its all about them on “their” day? How hard is it to be inclusive and teach children to do the same?

        I don’t understand the big deal in general of giving a gift to grrandma/grandpa. Maybe the husband was just being nice and polite and didn’t want his child to walk in empty handed? I say he was teaching some modicum of manners and respect, but again this generation in my experience and witnessing with many of my peers is all about me me me…as is the original poster here.

        • Harriet May 6, 2022 / 10:09 am

          “This generation” wah wah wah. Bore off Lisa. You clearly don’t have a great relationship with your daughter if you’re taking to posts online to slander her for asking you to allow her a day at home with her own family instead of running to you like a lap dog. You have the same relationship a lot of women of your age have – one based on control and a feeling of being owed for being a mother. My own mother was exactly the same. She’s sending you a gift, she will make an effort to speak to you on the day and recognise you as HER mother, but she’s asking for time to enjoy her new found life as a mother herself. That’s how it works. Damn right it’s disrespectful to be incredibly ill after just giving birth and have your partner trot off to his parent’s house with gifts from the baby to the grandparent, it’s so unnecessary – now if he was giving gifts from him and taking the kids up to say hi then of course it would be a different story. I do think it’s a bit odd to give your daughter a gift on Mother’s day. Mother’s day is supposed to be to celebrate the connection to your own mother figure, that’s the point.

          • Avatar
            Lisa
            May 8, 2022 / 2:56 am

            you clearly have issues chick, you are one of those me me me people I see! The whole reason for my post was in this day and age what the FECK is the big deal?? WHO CARES? Celebrate everyone for fecks sake, we could all be mothers in a bomb shelter in the Ukraine right now, or mothers whose own mothers are no longer here. I bet they would give there right arms as a gift to have granny here to celebrate.

            You have an awful lot of rules about what things should and shouldn’t be, who should get a gift and who shouldn’t blah blah, you are the one that sounds quite controlling honestly and I feel bad for your poor husband. I bet he walks around on eggshells around you quite often. You don’t know me so don’t come and me slandering me on here if you don’t want it thrown back. And for the record I did not once slander my daughter, just found it odd and quite self centered IN MY EXPERIENCE that anyone would think because they are a parent now the whole day is about you…I wasn’t raised that way, I always included my grandmother in our mothers day brunch/BBQ or whatever…how fecking hard is that??? And also, yes I gave my daughter a gift and it was a gift that was passed on from my mother to me and her mother to her before, a family heirloom, so zip your lips if you don’t know the facts. I also never said that I expected her to come “running” to me haha. If you have plans with your own family to celebrate then that’s great just SAY IT, no need to tell someone that oh, its MY GOD DAMN DAY NOW…theres the self centered selfish part! My children own me nothing but the same respect and honesty I bestow upon them.

          • Harriet May 9, 2022 / 8:53 am

            Ok Lisa. I think you’ve made your points fairly clear… I don’t have rules, this was an opinion piece that you chose to comment on… which you started with insults and aggression, I didn’t throw anything at you that you didn’t give me in the first place. Judging by the comment replies to you, I’m not alone in thinking you’re exactly the type of mother people don’t have contact with and perhaps you could re-read what you have written.

    • Avatar
      Evalisa
      May 6, 2022 / 2:51 am

      I can’t ever do anything to please my mom. I got her a nice little gift for Mother’s Day and her reply was to ask me if I got one for grandma… grandma is not my mom. I don’t know why my mom can’t just say thank you for the nice gift. Not all mothers are so gracious is my point. Maybe this person’s mom was super critical like mine and not the kind of mom that was described in one of the comments that thought there’s always enough love to go around. I wish that was my mom. But that’s not the mom God gave me. So I too am always so stressed out trying to please everyone… it’s easier to just give up and do the very minimum as it’s never ever good enough. Ya know?

    • Avatar
      Anonymous
      May 8, 2022 / 8:47 pm

      Fuck off, Lisa.

      • Avatar
        lisa
        May 9, 2022 / 1:47 pm

        haha…classy

  2. Avatar
    Rebecca Even
    May 2, 2022 / 4:44 am

    I find the “my day” belief to be quite self centered. As a mom of 3, while I’m blessed to have a day that honors my role as a mother, I hardly find myself demanding recognition and/or gifts to celebrate, but more, reflecting on the beauty of what bonds mothers together and makes us special.
    I have always viewed it as a community celebration and less of a day of personal praise for my own motherly achievements.
    So while I agree, it is not mandatory to give gifts to a grandmother, I also find it odd to assume such a day belongs only to myself or to my mom.
    To each his own, however my mother always taught me, there’s enough love to go around 😉 To ALL mothers EVERYWHERE! Cheers!

  3. Avatar
    Mandy
    May 1, 2022 / 5:42 pm

    Grandmothers are also mothers. I mean my mom is a mother after all.

  4. Avatar
    Mandy
    May 1, 2022 / 5:42 pm

    Grandmothers are also mothers. I mean my mom is a mother after all.

    • Avatar
      Evalisa
      May 6, 2022 / 4:17 pm

      If I was to buy a gift for every mother… let’s just say I can’t afford that. I don’t think it’s a reasonable expectation. Everyone should get their own mothers something. And if you have a mother type of relationship with someone that is not your biological mother.. a gift for her also. But draw the line there. Only your mother. Let others worry about their’s.

  5. Avatar April 30, 2021 / 7:48 am

    I swear reading this feels like you took the words right out of my mouth! Also, my husband and my best friends husband is the same exact way! Last year was my first mother’s after having my daughter and it felt like I didn’t get to enjoy it like I wanted. We got a gift for his Mother but I told my husband I thought it was weird to give a gift from our daughter to his Mom for Mother’s. You are right, there is a separate day for Grandparents, which is the day after my daughters birthday. I don’t know except a gift for making them Grandparents on their day, why should they expect a gift from my child on Mother’s Day? My Mother is totally opposite and sees my way of thinking. She didn’t expect a gift from my daughter last year and thought it was weird my mil did. I think Grandparents need to be happy that there is a day for them while there is a day to celebrate Mother’s and Fathers, there is a day to celebrate Grandparents and should not be both. This year, my mil asked what she was getting this year, a new little sister (she was meaning grandchild), I just gave her a blank stare. This might sound harsh but there’s also been a lot of boundaries crossed with the grandparents. Just let Mothers Day and Fathers Day be meant the day for Mother’s and Fathers please!

    • Avatar
      Deb
      May 29, 2021 / 4:21 am

      Well put. I’m a grandmother now and even I don’t understand the whole getting something from my grandkids; even a card on Mother’s day. Now that my children have their own families, THEY’VE stopped giving us cards and instead send one from the grandkids. I’m really confused by this and don’t know how to address it with them.

  6. Avatar
    Courtney
    April 19, 2021 / 6:40 pm

    I completely agree. I feel so stressed about mothers day sometimes almost a month before. My mother in law and mother live within driving distance, about 30 minutes from us, but in different directions. I feel like it has become such a burden trying please everyone. I feel guilty no matter what I do. I have 3 young children and I usually get a beautiful handmade card or drawing but then I need to plan and host 2 different mothers day events making sure to include everyone and by the end I feel so stressed out. I really want to just spend the day at home with my kids doing a fun outing they think I would like, not running like a crazy person trying to host 2 different family events and pretend like I am so happy and spoiled because my kids wrote me a cute card. What I really want to do is just phone my mom and send a card and flowers to say happy mothers day and have my husband do the same. I don’t want to figure out everyone’s plans and make sure no mom is offended which of course they are regardless. Ugh it’s exhausting just thinking about it.

    • Avatar
      Mandy
      May 9, 2022 / 10:38 pm

      This is exactly how I felt about Mother’s Day this year. My husband and I feel so stressed about trying to please my own Mom and MIL – mainly MIL is determined to be disappointed no matter what he tries to do and plays all these mind games, while my mom is more easy going – that I don’t really acknowledge Mother’s Day as anything special for myself. There’s no room for me. It’s just another more stressful than usual day that leaves me feeling exhausted and my husband depressed. Honestly, if/when my sons become parents, I will want them to put more emphasis on the mother of their own children because they are on the front lines and need a pat on the back for one day. I dislike the commoditization of holidays as well – I don’t need stuff or for people to spend money for me to feel loved. But that’s just my own thing.

  7. Avatar
    Crystal
    October 19, 2018 / 12:43 pm

    Wow I am glad I’m not the only one who is aggravated with this. Mothers day seems to always be about making sure to go see my mom and MIL. Otherwise there is hell to pay it we dont take time for them! I doubt I ever get a mothers day that is about me as long as they are alive. I love them and all I just wish I could just celebrate it with my kids and husband alone.

    • Avatar
      Sarah
      March 17, 2019 / 4:11 pm

      Accidently book a holiday for that weekend!!

    • Avatar
      Anonymous
      May 8, 2019 / 4:14 am

      Im feeling same way

    • Avatar
      Anonymous
      May 12, 2019 / 11:00 am

      Sounds like you’re a shelfish cow…without your mother, would there be a ‘you’…definitely not…just because you have had a child, does it now mean your mother has to miss out!!!

      • Avatar
        Anonymous
        May 5, 2020 / 7:30 am

        Her mother is not missing out. She is receiving a card from HER daughter. Why should the granddaughter give grandma a card on Mother’s Day?

      • Avatar
        Anonymous
        August 28, 2020 / 9:12 pm

        Could you be any more of a cow yourself for saying that?

    • Avatar
      gab
      April 20, 2021 / 8:50 pm

      I refuse to do this… there’s grandparents day now! Our moms had mothers day for our whole lives, now that we have a kid its grandparents day for them and mothers day for me … ever notice how grandpas dont act like this lol

    • Avatar May 7, 2021 / 7:55 pm

      I totally agree! You should celebrate to your mom or dad explicitly for them. There is a Grandparents day. Make that a special day for THEM!
      My daughter has my grandsons make me a card from them. I’m not their mom. My daughter should send a card to me from her only.
      Celebrate Grandparents day September 21st!
      There’s plenty of time to hv holidays on that special day.
      I’m against getting cards from my grandkids if not on grandparents day.

  8. Avatar
    Grace Lovell
    June 11, 2018 / 12:19 pm

    One day most of these young mothers will be grandmothers sitting at home alone on Mother’s Day. There is enough love to go around surely. Enough joy to celebrate as a family. Raise a glass to your mother, your mother in law, and have one raised to you. Your children will learn the value of family, the love and respect from one generation to the next, how to honor the women in their family. Why this need to hoard the day? Why not bring the mothers together who loved and nurtured the children and grandchildren at the table? We are still mothers, not just grandmothers.

    I was alone on Mothers Day this year. My son lied to me, making excuses about soccer games, etc on that Sunday. The grandchildren told me later that Mothers Day was not for grandmothers and that they stayed at home all day just hanging out. I am saddened not just for myself but for my grandchildren who are learning to exclude loved ones in such a selfish way. My son went every Mothers Day to his grandmother’s house with a card and the anticipation of a family meal where we told stories and celebrated. We saw it as an opportunity to be together, to honor our mother, our grandmothers, our aunts.. It wasn’t a day about ME. It was a day about the women in our family who mothered us.

    • Harriet June 11, 2018 / 6:29 pm

      I’m sorry that happened to you, how sad! I think you misunderstood the post though – WE celebrate our mums. I celebrate mine, Adam his. We visited my MIL this year and would always do so if we could. Our children celebrate me. Not my mother or Adam’s. They celebrate their MOTHER on mother’s day, as we do ours, but there is no need for them to gift women who are not their mothers.

    • Avatar
      Sarah B Williams
      April 29, 2022 / 2:23 pm

      I understand and agree. Oh, how SAD people must be that they must HOARD greetings and well wishes on Mother’s Day. I wish ALL mothers in my realm a Happy Mother’s Day.

  9. Avatar
    Tara Gauvreau
    May 13, 2018 / 7:47 pm

    I just found this thread while searching in my upset. My MIL came over today. Mother’s Day. This is my first Mother’s Day as a mom of two and my last Mother’s Day EVER as a new mom. She said probably 10x that it was nanas day. I was too taken aback to say anything. So we quickly ushered them out. We talked about it and from her on foreword we will not be having them over the weekend of mother’s day. This is for me and my kids. I’m glad I’m not alone!!! My hubs will get her a card from him and me. Not the kids!! Save that for grandparents day.

    • Avatar
      Nic
      March 15, 2021 / 2:12 pm

      Sounds like your MIL is a giant asshole. Good on you for standing your ground. Mine did something similar on my first Mother’s Day, making it about her. The older ladies had her time with Mother’s Day being all about them, they shouldn’t get to steam roll you on your day with your kids. Her son can go give her a card and gift if he wants but that’s all.

  10. Avatar
    Melinda Rogers
    May 11, 2018 / 6:33 pm

    I am a young mom of three kiddos. Every year I stress over what to buy my mother in law because my husband won’t buy her anything and it puts alot of burden on me. I have become to the point where I hate this holiday because we have to spend so much time praising my mother in law that I feel left out. Example, this year I had made brunch reservations for myself, husband and kids to enjoy a relaxing brunch alone and mother in law decides that the entire family needs to have an early lunch on Mother’s day. We have to invite every grandma and my sister in laws mother in law and it has just become such a ridiculous spectacle. I am, of course, in charge of the reservations. Go figure. I am just sick of having to cater to everyone else. I want my day! I want to be recognized and just be lazy if I want. I work by ass off for my family and extended family and I don’t even get this one day. I vote keep Mother’s day for Mother’s only. Grandma’s had their turn already.

  11. Avatar
    Jake Gates
    May 11, 2018 / 7:55 am

    Your celebrating all mothers grandmas are mothers to its a holiday to celebrate and thank all mothers not just your own. You wouldn’t be like I don’t thank you because your not my mother, you don’t just not take your children to see grandma because it’s your mothers day only you take them to thank her for being a mother To you allowing you to have a chance to have your own children you don’t understand mothers day at all if you thinks it’s just about yourself celebrating your own mother

    • Avatar
      Bradley
      May 13, 2018 / 9:09 am

      Yah but regardless my grandmother isn’t my mother and never treated or acted the way my mother does. So I celebrate my mom, cause she’s my mother. My grandmother isn’t my mother, I didn’t grow up with her. No one can replace your mom, don’t see why you should praise other people for being Mother’s to other people. I celebrate the one lady who impacted my life. Not saying I won’t wish them happy Mother’s Day, just won’t go out of my way to buy a present for my grandmother or aunt etc.

      • Avatar April 29, 2020 / 5:37 am

        Actually I love my grandma more.

      • Avatar April 29, 2020 / 5:39 am

        Actually I love my grandma more, but I still love the both of them!

      • Avatar April 29, 2020 / 5:40 am

        Actually I love my grandma more, but I still love the both of them! And I also grew up with both of them.

      • Avatar April 29, 2020 / 5:40 am

        but I still love the both of them! And I also grew up with both of them.

  12. Avatar
    Ria
    May 2, 2018 / 3:49 am

    I have bought a present for my mum from my baby but explained that we will see mum on thr Saturday. I love my mum and want to celebrate with her, but on mothers day i want it to be about my husband, baby and me spending the day together. I have been made to feel like the worst person in the world becaise of not seeing my mum on mothers day… we are seeing her the day before. my baby has two naps a day and I dont want to rush arpund seeing grandparents on my first mothers day… I feel terrible but its the first time im doing something for me. Is this so bad?

  13. Avatar
    Jessica
    May 4, 2016 / 5:20 am

    My hubby and I agree with you on this one! It is Mother’s Day not Grandmother’s Day (and Father’s Day etc.). My mom and her mom seem to forget this (although I love them dearly…this year I finally put my foot down…it took four years but…lol). My MIL seems to forget it is my day now since all of her kids are out of the house but after last year (the only year we’ve actually lived near my in-laws) I think she got the message so my hubby will drop her gift off before the weekend…that I made him buy…and then we’re moving again so shouldn’t be a problem. 🙂

    • Avatar
      Jessica
      May 4, 2016 / 5:29 am

      However I do see why people do it but to be frank I think all of these are Hallmark holidays and are totally aimed at making money. I do participate though so they get my money lol! I’m trying to make it meaningful though now that I have littles…a good way to celebrate generations by doing a “Girls weekend” with Grandma, daughters, granddaughters, great grands, etc. or getaway with my little family. Something so it’s not just about me…I like my family to enjoy it too and that’s a perfect gift for everyone or for me at least!!! ?

    • Avatar
      Bradley
      May 13, 2018 / 9:16 am

      Sorry to disagree with you, just wanted to point something out. Regardless if you have children, it doesn’t change the fact that you have a mom. Your parents are only grandparents to your children not yourself. I can understand your husband treating you to supper or something, but just because you’re now a mother I don’t see how that cancels your mom out. Mother’s Day is about your mother, your husbands mom is not you, though you are the mother of his children and he will treat you. But don’t forget you have a Mother.think of it this way, 20 years down the line your children don’t come have lunch with you on mother’s day instead they spending it indoors all day with their husband/wife and one kid. How much of a mother would you feel then ?

      • Avatar
        E
        May 10, 2021 / 8:07 am

        When my daughter is fully grown knowing she is happy and has a family of her own celebrating her on Mother’s Day in the way she feels is the most relaxing is exactly what I would want. I hope I remember wanting to be able to celebrate it at home when she was little rather than making it another day where I have to plan for everyone else’s happiness, I will want her to have the same. We send gifts and make phone calls to my mom and my husband’s mom. When both my husband and I were kids we never went to our grandparents either. I would be selfish to expect any different when my daughter is actively mothering small children.

  14. Avatar February 27, 2016 / 11:22 pm

    It’s only since having Sophie that on Mother’s Day/Father’s Day we buy grandparents’ a little gift from her. I know not all people do, but I still think it’s a sweet idea 🙂 xx

    • Harriet February 28, 2016 / 1:00 pm

      Oh lovely Emma, see we’re not doing it… purely because I’m not good at sharing, but I do think it’s sweet if you want to! H 🙂 x

  15. Avatar February 27, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    It’s not something that either myself or my husband do but I can see why people would do it. xo

    • Harriet February 28, 2016 / 1:04 pm

      Me too Harriet 🙂 H x

  16. Avatar February 27, 2016 / 9:59 am

    I’ve never really thought about it to be honest. If I see a Nan card for mother’s day I might send one, but I don’t feel bad if I don’t. Now I’m a mother I do think it’s important that I’m treated specially but unfortunately hubby isn’t os great at that!

    • Harriet February 28, 2016 / 1:07 pm

      Oh no Alex – get him sorted!! I do think it’s massively important, I just believe that you should be treat special by your children and you treat your parent special etc etc, not your kids to your mother… I can’t share haha! H x

  17. Avatar February 26, 2016 / 9:09 pm

    I think it is a kind gesture, including the grannies in. After all, they were and continue to be mothers too, even after we have our own children.

    • Harriet February 26, 2016 / 9:13 pm

      Oh we buy for our own Mums Oana – I get for mine, Adam for his, but they aren’t my kiddies mums so I don’t get FROM the kids to them, if that makes sense. It is a kind gesture… I’m just not good at sharing haha! H x

  18. Avatar February 26, 2016 / 11:35 am

    My husband is useless at mother’s day and his mum wouldn’t get anything if it wasn’t for me, so in that way, we do give to her as a grandparent. I’ve kind of decided i kill two birds with one stone if i give the grandma’s one gift from the kids (usually) something handmade. sorry your time in hospital was so pants 🙁 xx

    • Harriet February 26, 2016 / 12:12 pm

      Awh thanks Amanda, couldn’t be helped I’m afraid *sigh*. I love your handmade ideas they are wonderful – you (and the kids) are super talented! H x

  19. Avatar February 26, 2016 / 8:09 am

    It’s a strange concept isn’t it. I don’t get anything for grandparents from the kids but I do get my nan some flowers because her daughter (my mum) and her son both emigrated to Australia about 8 years ago. She’s been like my mum since then. I don’t go ott just get her a token bunch x

    • Harriet February 26, 2016 / 9:37 am

      Yes, I’ve always thought so Kerry – yet to Adam (and loads of others according to social) it is the norm. I wonder if its a generation thing or maybe a postcode code thing? I think it’s lovely that you do that for your Nan, so sweet 🙂 xx

    • Harriet February 26, 2016 / 9:39 am

      It’s crazy how different people are Jemma – I had genuinely never heard of it! When I asked the question on Facebook it was literally a 50/50 divide of people like yourself who found it weird not to and people like me who think its weird to do it! So funny! I’ll count you in #TeamAdam haha 🙂

  20. Avatar February 26, 2016 / 7:51 am

    No it’s Mother’s Day, so I get a card from Toby, my mum gets a card from me and Phil’s mum from him! My mum looks after Toby a lot for us, but that’s something that I thank her for as she’s helping me out. Totally with you and I’d have cried too!xx

    • Harriet February 26, 2016 / 9:40 am

      See this is my thinking Hannah! My mum does an awful lot for the children, but she’s my Mum so she doesn’t get anything from them on Mother’s Day. By the same token, my MIL used to have the boys an afternoon once or twice a week which was a huge help – we genuinely appreciate/d everything they both do, but they still aren’t their mother and don’t get cards from them!! Good to know I’m not the only crier bahaha!! x

  21. Avatar February 26, 2016 / 7:37 am

    I think when I was little I gave a card to my man as well as my mum. I only buy cards my our mums and then sin them from all of us. Although the this year I found some cute mugs for nan and grandma which will go with their presents we give them.

    • Harriet February 26, 2016 / 9:42 am

      That is exactly like Adam! This post has been really funny for us because it’s been so 50/50 with people – every time someone agrees with one of us we’ve said to the other “See! It’s not just me” or “See, they think it’s weird too!” Haha! It’s one of those things that everyone does differently I guess! I do love the Nana/Grandma mugs though 🙂

  22. Avatar
    Helen
    February 16, 2016 / 9:41 pm

    I’ve always found this strange too and the same as you, my husband and I had different experiences. I get my Mum a present from me and he gets one for his mum from him. Then we get his mum a card from the children as his sister does the same with her children and we don’t want our children to be the ones that don’t but my mum doesn’t get one from them as my sister doesn’t and we don’t want her children to be the ones that don’t. My Mum is fine with this as she doesn’t want one from them as long as she has one from me. xx

  23. Avatar February 15, 2016 / 10:25 pm

    This is also something that Tim and I differ on too… We always gave cards and gifts to each grandparent on the respective days, but Tim didn’t. It does seem to have become more prevalent, with cards specifically for grandparents, aunts, even people “like a mother” which is different to when we were younger and had to find a generic one. But I actually like it…

    I have a very inclusive idea of family (I even called my housemates at uni my family!) and I send cards and gifts for all manner of occasions, so I guess for me it’s not so unusual. I can see how it could seem odd to others though!

    Interestingly Tim and I don’t always give each other cards and gifts on special occasions. I think we’ve just mutually decided to go with whatever works for us at the time 😉 but I have to say Tim and I often find ourselves doing things totally differently to most other people (I can’t count the number of times someone has asked Tim “but doesn’t your wife mind?” and he’s then thought to ask me and I’ve replied with “why would I mind?” only to be told “all the women at work said they would!” haha) so my answer to your question probably sounds a bit odd!!

  24. Avatar February 15, 2016 / 9:03 am

    On Mother’s Day, I give my mother a gift and my husband gives his mother a gift and my kids give me a present. If you are in the U.S., there is a separate grandparents day on September 11 (that is kind of a horrible day to try to celebrate anything on after 9/11). http://grandparentsday.org/

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