So unless you have been living under a rock you will most likely have seen that Chrissy Teigen, wife of John Legend and totally badass presenter and model, has had her baby girl. Even if, like my mum, you haven’t a clue who she is (nor do you care) you will probably have heard the odd muttering of her name because this pregnancy has been very much in the forefront of the media eye, and it appears that poor Chrissy ain’t done yet with grasping the media eyeballs.
Let’s have a think about what has happened to Chrissy Teigen throughout her pregnancy. Firstly, she was brave enough to come out and TALK about her fertility problems, something that most women, never mind celebrity women, will not talk about. It’s a taboo and one that shouldn’t exist. In doing so Chrissy got others talking, she pulled the issue into the limelight and got everyone thinking about the struggles that people face when they are trying to conceive. I can only imagine that thousands of women (and men) are grateful to anyone who helps to shed a light on the pain that is fertility issues.
All was well for Chrissy until she decided to share that she had “chosen” to have a baby girl – for her husband. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t quite get this attitude that daddy has a special bond with daughter and mummy has a special bond with son. I have a special bond with all my kids and so does Adam, but had Adam been able to choose, he would have chosen a boy. I would have chosen a girl. It’s a personal preference really isn’t it? Clearly as a couple they sat down and I imagine that he crooned to her about wanting a baby girl, she thought it over and decided yeah – let’s have a baby girl. Rather than be happy for them, the poor couple were lambasted with hatred. “Playing god” was chucked around a lot, “sexist” was chucked around a lot and through it all, she smiled and said, hey, my baby, my choice. In a statement the woman acknowledged that everyone may not feel that their ability to choose a gender was right, but that was what they had done and they didn’t regret it or apologise for it. I say, rock on. You can choose a specific gender baby that you have struggled for years to conceive and you want to? Who is anyone else to tell you that you can’t? And as for the playing god comments – they were technically already doing that with their IVF in the first place right? Bore off.
Now the baby is here. A bouncing bundle of love and happiness, just like all babies (when they are sleeping). Thankfully both mum and baby are healthy and happy, so in a SHOCKING move… Chrissy left the one week old baby at home and went for a meal with her husband.
Hold up, the 1950s are calling, they want their outdated, sexist ideas back y’all because this is 2016 and there is no such thing as “leaving your baby too early”. It’s a personal choice.
Since the pair were spotted out for their romantic meal, poor Chrissy has been blasted again by the judgey pant wearing hordes because apparently she “left the baby too early”, “was just showing off her post pregnancy body snap back” and “couldn’t possibly leave a baby so young”… Wow. Just wow.
Bare with me while I don my feminist cap (it’s shiny) and have a look around for the comments slamming John Legend for leaving HIS newborn baby to go out for a meal… no, wait, there aren’t any. You know why? Because he’s a dude. Essentially, his dangly bits make him less important to the development of a newborn baby and he really should be bringing home the bacon by now anyway, after all, it’s been a whole week since labour – what more does he want? The gender bias here is strong.
The truth is, whether you care about a couple of celebs who are in the news again, you should care about what this says about our society. Being a new mum is fucking hard, for real, it can be terrifying. It is a time when you are vulnerable, nervous of your every move and you need the world around you to build you up, not tear you down. Whats more, sometimes, you need a break. Sometimes you need to step away and remember who you were before you didn’t have a second to shower, were covered in baby sick and hadn’t been out of the house for five days straight. As a society, the choice was made to tear this new mum down, but nothing – not a single word – was said about this new dad. All this latest Chrissy Teigen bash highlights is a society that undervalues dads and views them as secondary parents and takes great pleasure in sending a woman back to the 1950s as soon as she has given birth.
Chrissy, you want to go to dinner honey, you go to dinner, but make sure you put your shoes on as you step out of the kitchen first k?
Yes!! On point once again lovely lady! I won’t be leaving Martha just yet because I’m breastfeeding and not ready to express and quite honestly she’s the easiest baby ever so Phil and I could easily go for a meal with her attached. That’s what’s working for us. With Toby, he was nightmare baby extraordinaire from day one and my god looking back I should have pumped myself dry in order to hand him over to my mum for a few hours! I don’t have a TV and don’t read magazines so whilst I’m aware of John Legend’s music I don’t know anything about the couple. Bashing a mum for daring to still be a wife, an individual, after giving birth is such sanctimonious bollocks and the double standards of not treating the dad poorly proves that the whole thing is a moot point, nothing more than media crap aimed at making women feel shit and men feel like secondary parents at best xx
I do believe you should get a mic drop for that! It’s so true, it’s purely a way to shame mothers and reduce them to the “mother role”, nothing more nothing less, stripping them of their identity and, for the dads? I really think it is equally insulting!
Love a good mic drop!xx
You did it again, a big f**k you society and I for one am joining you hun. So what if she left her kid at home there is no right or wrong time to leave the leave the kid at home and she deserves a break. Hello she has just given birth so what the fuck is their problem. If it were up to some men we would be sitting at home playing 1950’s housewife!
Preach Ana! Preach! I couldn’t agree with you more – I read your blog post the other week about the online date? That is the dude that would be back in 1950 having Chrissy at home forever after birth!
I just can’t get my head around this – I mean wow she went out for a few hours. It’s not like she left the kid alone – now that I could understand people getting annoyed about. x
I wish I had been up to leaving Erin that soon after she was born. I don’t blame her whatsoever and think she’s doing amazingly well!
I LOVE Chrissy Teigen so much. She is a complete breath of fresh air and handles these ridiculous criticisms well!
Great post, people are too quick to pass opinion on the mother but not the father. Even in this day and age there is also this gender difference.
Quite right too, if she wants to go out for dinner she should x
Tbh I, like your mum, have no idea who she is and couldn’t really care less. I also couldn’t care less that she went for a meal with her fella. She carried the baby for 9 mths, if either of them is entitled to that break it’s her! It’s not what I woulda done personally but then I didn’t breastfeed, moved my child in his own room at 10wks, let him cry himself to sleep on occasion and let him have a Maccies sometimes so by most most people’s standards I’m a shit mum anyway so my opinion won’t matter. People love a bloody witch hunt, must be hard being so perfect…