I’ve always loved writing, but lately… I don’t know, I have found writing really hard and for the last year or so the blog has become more and more frustrating for me. I feel like I’ve moved beyond a touch of writer’s block to writer’s barricade the size of the Wall of Westeros and I’m just finding it increasingly difficult to work out what to write for this space of mine. I have so many words about the current #MeToo climate, Brexit, what’s for dinner next week – from the deep and meaningful to the quietly irrelevant but could be fun to read – I have the ideas, but when I come to type them, they flutter out of my noggin like the seeds of a dandelion that’s just been blown.
You might have noticed that I haven’t been writing with my usual Monday to Friday posts that hit at 6am, I haven’t been maintaining that schedule. I decided to give myself a new schedule of Mon/Wed/Fri with the understanding that I would be applying more of my time to my youtube but I haven’t been maintaining that either because, if I’m honest, I don’t really see my place on youtube, of what relevance is a woman who views most hauls as on a level with unboxing videos for children (unless they are disney hauls then I am ENGROSSED) and wouldn’t be able to speed clean if her life depended on it? Since I stopped applying myself to YouTube my views have collapsed and I’m even more ambivalent to it than before, what’s the point in spending two hours creating something if only a handful of people are watching it?
So where does that leave me?
Well I’m not really sure, I’m becoming more and more involved in Instagram than ever before and dedicating so much of myself and my time to it and to content creation for it that I just feel I’m slowly falling out of love with other platforms and the longer written posts on here.
Do you ever just feel like you have kind of done it all? I’ve written about a lot of the issues that are dear to my heart, I’ve never been the best foodie blogger as I tuck into most meals before I remember to photograph them (oops) and I’m not really into reviewing. I certainly don’t write “how to be a blogger or Instagrammer or whatever” posts as I think you have to have a certain amount of bollocks to believe that your way of doing it is so fundamentally the right way that you can class yourself an authority on it (though I am asked more or less every day, multiple times a day, to share my advice on how to become an instagrammer) and whilst I’ve clearly done what has worked for me, I don’t think it works for everyone. I’m also not a shade thrower, I prefer confetti, it’s prettier and less… twatty.
I am one of those writers that gets a feeling in my tummy, a fluttering and a simple need to get the content out there as fast as I can, my fingers often blur past across the keyboard and I have to re-read and edit myself repeatedly because the words have tumbled out too fast for me to hit the right keys. I guess you call that a passion led writer, yet here I am feeling little to no passion until I’m given an idea that fans the flames or challenges me creatively.
Am I going to stop blogging? Far from it, I’m really hoping to get back into the swing of posting daily, surely I owe it to myself to keep going after all of this hard work and whilst I adore Instagram, the content on there will never truly be exclusively mine. I guess I’m giving you an update and sharing the way that I’ve been feeling with regards to the blog lately. At the moment I think the 3 times a week post schedule is a better way for me to get back into blogging and writing more often, if only with the intention of being consistent and having you all stay with me on this journey.
P.s – Oh, whilst I listed most of the things that aren’t my “ting” it appears that click bait is… sorry about the title, but you know, I really wanted to make my point that I’m finding writing hard at the moment and I’m not going anywhere but I am being a bit kinder to myself about not loving the keyboard as much.