At the moment I am planning Reuben’s third birthday party and obviously he has been too young up until now to really have a problem with birthday party politics, the who gets an invite, have we upset this person, do we invite one child and not the other? Now that he is at preschool though, and has his own little friends I am feeling it a bit more, do I ask who his friends are? Invite the whole class?
I obviously don’t have it too bad, he is still young enough that it isn’t a big deal, but it is so interesting to hear the problems party politics can create when talking to other parents! One of my closest friends has a daughter who is frequently excluded from parties, not because she is anything but a sweet little girl, but because her Mama doesn’t know the other Mama’s at her child’s school. The little one is dropped off and collected by someone else, so she doesn’t get the social part of the school drop off. Is this normal? Is it fair?
Another friend of mine has a son whose very best friend from preschool and through junior school who didn’t get an invite to the party because – wait for it – on the day that this boys Mama was writing out invites her little boy said he didn’t want my friend’s son to come because they had had a little fall out… of course they made up the next day, but my friend’s son was the only boy in the class not to get an invite, so was left out as the party numbers can’t be changed.
I get the whole ‘numbers’ thing – parties cost a fortune if you are out sourcing them to play areas or other places, which happens more often than not as parents don’t have the time, inclination or space to have 20+ children running around their home, but if you have a class of 24 kids and invite 20, thats surely a difficult thing for the other kids to swallow. Surely it would be better to choose 5 or 6 kids out of the group? I also wholeheartedly understand if a child is a bully or unkind to your child, then avoiding any conflict at the party is best, but for any reason other than that I have to say I struggle to understand why you would cut a select few out.
So I would love to hear from other Mama’s who have more experience in the world of ‘party politics’! Do you invite everyone, or a select few? If you didn’t get on with the parents or you didn’t especially like the child would you leave them out?