An open letter to the bitchy teens in Nandos

Dear teenage girls in Nandos,

I know all you wanted to do this lunch time was come in and have a “talk” (ahem, bitch fest) about your friend and how she’s so busy swooning over this new guy in her life that it’s pathetic, I’m sure I overheard one of you say she was too chubby to be his usual type right? Or how your dad was SO ridiculous and overbearing insisting you didn’t stay out at your boyfriend’s over night, you’re allowed to, you’re 16. Anyway, I know that was your sole purpose and I’m really sorry that my nearly 2 year old interrupted you with her big staring eyes and her inability to sit still. How inconsiderate of her. Don’t worry, we got the message that we were bugging you loud and clear with your overtly obvious sneers and that final pause and eyebrow raise was “on point” when she dared to wave at you.

Edith (I know, SUCH an uncool name – why didn’t I call her Rihanna or Kendall), is a friendly little thing (friendly: nice, kind, happy to meet new people – you will discover this term again when you find your twenties… possibly) and she’s also a fairly standard toddler. She doesn’t like to sit still, or eat her dinner nicely and yes, I’m STILL breastfeeding her on demand so the chances are a nip is going to pop out at some point between your mango chicken and frozen yoghurt. I know the concept that a toddler may have to coexist in the same air space as you is daunting – trust me, I get it – but sadly, they do and when you keep giving her the shit stare and stopping what you are saying to sneer at her, it’s all I can do to remember that you yourselves are still children and it wouldn’t set a good example to bitch slap you. Or be legal.

Here’s the thing girls, I’ve always had that “maternal” streak and actually rather liked babies, but even if I didn’t I’ve always had manners so it would have prevented me from behaving the way you did. What I have been though, is a bitchy teenage girl and I think you should hear some home truths from sista’ from another mista’. Do we still say that?

1.) Life, sadly, does not revolve around you (Or your BFF)

I know. It’s a tough one to come to terms with but sadly it’s the truth. Life revolves around money, family, food, shelter, bills and a whole other host of things that you probably haven’t had the joys of lying awake at 3am panicking about yet. Don’t worry though, you’ll get to soon.

2.) Be kind to your friends and family, they are who will help you come to terms with point 1.

That dad that you have? He’s just being protective of you, in the same way that I feel protective of my daughter. One day you will wish you had listened to his advice. That chubby, pathetic friend? I hope she finds better pals than you, you’re all going to need them in this world.

3. ) Babies and toddlers are EVERYWHERE, you were one.

You were. Honest. Though I’m sure you sat nicely at the dinner table at 22 months and did as you were told, and you certainly wouldn’t have waved at someone on the next table. Yeesh.

4.) Life will be hard on you, so leave the attitude at the door

Life can be much MUCH meaner than you. Get over yourself and let that snide, I’m better than everyone attitude go. Like Elsa. Yes, I totally broke into song there – #sorrynotsorry.

5.) Support your fellow women, you’re all in for an interesting journey.

Don’t drag each other down, the world will do that enough for you. You’re in the unique position of having a vagina (or bagina as my son calls it – ain’t that cute?) which means you’re going to have so many more hoops to jump through than your male counterparts. Like Mother Pukka says – let’s scrap like Rottweilers without being bitches.

6.) Be humble and kind to strangers.

I’m a stranger. I’m also a fairly successful blogger who vaguely considered misusing my social media klout to take a photo of you and share it on twitter as the little bitches who were unkind to a one year old, that shit would have retweeted for days… but I’m kind and even though you made me feel about 2 inches tall as I walked away from the table and heard your eye roll and “ugh thank god”, I didn’t. Hell, I didn’t even school you all in front of the restaurant… I’m teetering on 30 and a mother of 3 (yes, I have THREE of these annoying small beings) so well within my rights to do that. Be kind and wave back at the one year old, smile at the person sat on the table next to you. BE KIND.

I’m sorry to witter at you, I know this would fall on deaf ears even if I had plucked up the courage (or energy) to say something to you at the time, but I think any mother who has ever been subjected to bitchy teens could probably relate. The goods news for me is that is 15-20 years, average statistics dictate that you will no doubt be on the receiving end of those stares and snide remarks so, meh, karma.

TTYL (Talk to you later?), love you long time, peace out… or however else we sign off letters in the land of the cool teen nowadays,

The mother of the annoying one year old in Nandos.



  1. May 25, 2017 / 5:43 am

    Oh my goodness that was so rude of her! Jeesh. But in a serious matter, teens are like that. Not all, but most teens. From psychological point of the view, people in the age of 13-18 are in a stage where they see everything in black and white, there is not what if’s and it’s hard for them to put theirselves in someone elses shoes. That’s why they think world revolves around them & that’s why they get annoyed of human beings under 100cm haha. Then it gets back when you’re passed your midlife crisis. Damn, I absolutely hate the stinky eye that I get from elder people when I’m in the grocery store with my kid & I can’t say anything because I respect elders way too much to do so haha.

  2. April 21, 2017 / 9:53 pm

    I will never understand how anyone can be unkind to children, let alone a toddler simply waiving. I’d be so hurt if that happened to my daughter. Like Edith, she’s a friendly little thing.

  3. April 21, 2017 / 9:53 pm

    I will never understand how anyone can be unkind to children, let alone a toddler simply waiving. I’d be so hurt if that happened to my daughter. Like Edith, she’s a friendly little thing.

  4. April 21, 2017 / 9:53 pm

    I will never understand how anyone can be unkind to children, let alone a toddler simply waiving. I’d be so hurt if that happened to my daughter. Like Edith, she’s a friendly little thing.

  5. April 14, 2017 / 10:25 pm

    Can’t people be so cruel with kids? There was a local cafe that bagged out mum’s with young kids who used their establishment and I was amazed by the bitter and nasty comments in support. It seems people think children should be silent, all but invisible. Obviously I’ll never go to that cafe even if it’s around when my daughter is a teenager! We shouldn’t have to only go to Maccas to feel comfortable. What a great way to share that kids are kids and have the right to be as anyone else.

  6. April 1, 2017 / 9:40 pm

    ‘Edith (I know, SUCH an uncool name – why didn’t I call her Rihanna or Kendall)’ – I laughed, this is so funny and so true. Sad to hear about your rubbish experience and for the record, I completely support the bitch slapping legality. #changethelaw

  7. March 31, 2017 / 10:38 pm

    I love this.

    We were at the park today and 2 teenage girls were literally staring at my toddler who was on the roundabout waiting for her to get off and get on.. I was willing her with all my might to do her usual hop on hop off routine, which she did. YES! They continued to stare and then started to sigh.. I politely said “there are plenty of benches girls” to which I got back “benches” and a snigger. They eventually moved on to the main park, and as my daughter got off they headed back over. But my son and his friend were hurtling towards it too, the girls looked at them and ran faster and got their first. I yelled from where I was. ” can you not just let them have a go” to which I was told “no”. I was fuming by this point but I did my usual 5 down to 1 and found my inner peace lol!! I wanted to have a right go!!

  8. February 25, 2017 / 9:25 am

    omw just had to comment you made me smile . just totally awesome and so on point , think they should pin this to the front door . i have tenagers and just wow a whole different mind blowing ball game ,. Thankyou so much for the share and the very witty repartee

  9. February 25, 2017 / 9:25 am

    omw just had to comment you made me smile . just totally awesome and so on point , think they should pin this to the front door . i have tenagers and just wow a whole different mind blowing ball game ,. Thankyou so much for the share and the very witty repartee

  10. February 23, 2017 / 2:41 pm

    Haha good for you! And well don’t on not misusing your social media klout… so… tempting!! Bloody bitchy teenagers, uck, I really hope I don’t have one of those in 11 years time! #BlogCrush

  11. February 21, 2017 / 7:34 am

    I’m aware that bitchiness seems to come with the territory when you’re a teenage girl and you want to fit in and not be the one being bitched about but to be rude to a toddler? Thankfully I’ve never witnessed anything like that but if I did I’m not sure I could have held my tongue, you did well x

  12. February 19, 2017 / 10:06 pm

    Ooooh I would have been so mad! In fact I AM mad, just reading this! I think you’ve done amazingly well to give them the benefit of the doubt in this. #blogcrush

  13. February 19, 2017 / 5:08 pm

    Loving what you’ve done here. God bless blogging for allowing us to vent. And you’re right. Sooooo much more satisfaction in putting it in words and sending it off into the universe to weave its way into the inboxes of manys a mother who have BEEN THERE. It absolutely would have fallen on deaf ears! #blogcrush

  14. February 18, 2017 / 4:00 pm

    Teenagers and bitchyness go hand in hand. Pretty sure you’re going to lose the battle on that front. But like you pointed out, time will turn the tables and win us the war. #BlogCrush

  15. February 18, 2017 / 1:12 am

    GREAT post. This needed to be said, and you’ve done the job well! It’s sad that (some) of today’s generation (makes me sound ancient!!!) are so self-centred, but it wouldn’t hurt to spread a little love, now would it?

  16. February 17, 2017 / 9:11 pm

    Oh my giddy aunt – I am furious for you. Absolutely furious. How dare they behave like that to a toddler. You are of course the bigger person in all this, and I don’t know how on earth you managed not to use your klout power to bring them down a peg or million. #Blogcrush xx

  17. February 17, 2017 / 4:46 pm

    That is disgusting behaviour! How can anyone be snide and cruel to a young baby or toddler astonishes me?! They are the embodiment of innocence (in the grand scheme of things!) and think everyone is going to be nice to them. Why destroy that illusion? Why not just wave and get on with your dinner? You did incredibly well not to say anything. Especially given you had to endure their drivel! At least you little one was non-the-wiser. #BlogCrush

  18. February 17, 2017 / 7:33 am

    Ain’t no bitch crew ruining my Nando’s.

    That wasn’t really my voice btw. Love this and also somewhat sad. I hope my girls grow up to be teens who smile and coo over little tots in Nando’s, like their Mum did, whilst still being a pretty vile teen…


    • Harriet February 17, 2017 / 11:50 am

      Haha I bet you weren’t that bad? Thanks for the comment lovely x

  19. December 28, 2016 / 8:19 am

    Oh my! I think I am just too old now to hold my tongue in these situations. And you know what… Most times, when confronted, the average teen-bitch turns into an embarrassed child pretty fast. Even the lads, who can bitch with the best of the girls.
    I’ve found that a sweet smile, some very straight, simple words, and a very positive tone, if rather loud though, usually scares the bitch back in its box.
    I recently confronted half a dozen young people on a bus who were being truly obnoxious, shouting, swearing, throwing one another’s things around over the other passengers heads etc. I took out my phone and told them they were obnoxious and that I was about to begin taking a video of their behaviour which I would then send to their school (they were in school uniform). They stopped but a couple of the girls then started to bitch about me so I went up to them and loudly told them that one day they too would have children and that I hoped they were lucky enough to have children who they could be proud of, rather than the embarrassment their parents would be feeling when I called on them later. They did have the grace to shy back and you know what… Those same girls will now stand up on the bus and offer me their seats.
    Sometimes, not always, but sometimes speaking out is the right thing to do.

  20. December 11, 2016 / 11:37 am

    Thanks for the follow on Twitter.@SoosieWales..if you hadn’t I’d never have seen this.
    I’m a nanna and kids today have no respect for anyone.
    A few months ago I took my 2 yr old grandson to the doctor. He was covered in chicken pox and crying. A young girl (poss 15)looked me up and down and did that snidey look…I walked over to her and said..’if you had chicken pox on your foof you’d be crying too..he’s a baby and he’s in pain, so use a bit of tact and respect.
    I’d love to have batch slapped her!

  21. December 11, 2016 / 7:37 am

    Holy Moly! Well said. I’m going to show this post to my 12 year old, she’s getting to that age where being way too opinionated about others is beginning to manifest itself. It’s all a facade, attack is the best form of defence for a 12yr old with Type 1 Diabetes and Coeliacs right? NO! she needs to learn that kindness and politeness is free and returned immediately, karma for those less kind is served at a later date…once its had time to fester and rot!

  22. December 10, 2016 / 7:23 pm

    Ugh, what obnoxious teens. And how awful that not only were they being nasty about their friend, but they sneered at you too. I would of said something because I struggle to hold my tongue. One day they’ll realise that the world isn’t all about them and that their attitudes STINK.

  23. December 8, 2016 / 6:04 pm

    Brilliantly written post, I only wish that they could read it! I agree with Sarah above …. KARMA!!

  24. December 8, 2016 / 12:31 pm

    Really great post! I think teenagers have less and less respect with each generation and grow up faster and faster. I can’t believe they’d complain about not being able to stay over at their bfs at the age of 16!!

  25. December 8, 2016 / 12:20 pm

    Excellent post. The rudeness of some people amazes me when it comes to others children. I was feeding Max in a restaurant the other day and he did his usual burp in between the milk and some woman actually told me he was ‘disgusting’ – needless to say she got a mouthful off me. I hope the bitchy girls read this and grow up a bit. Jo x

  26. December 8, 2016 / 12:18 pm

    Oh I just loved this! It literally made me chuckle out loud – were we like that at their age? I very much doubt it. Love reading your blog, it always makes me smile!! xx

  27. Lauren
    December 8, 2016 / 11:29 am

    ??❕… ??❕… ??❕… slow, loud, clapping? You nailed it. ? (Also- HOW❔❕could anyone be bitchy & rude to adorable little Edith unless they were stone cold inside❕❄️❄️❄️❄️ Monsters❕❕?)

  28. December 8, 2016 / 11:26 am

    Really well said! It sounds as though they need a lesson in life to be honest!

  29. December 7, 2016 / 10:57 pm

    Teenagers can just be so annoying, they just have a lot to growing up to do. I catch a train with a load of school kids twice a week and basically bite my tongue the whole time.

  30. December 7, 2016 / 10:23 pm

    Good post! How inconsiderate. I feel I wasn’t a teen that long ago but each year there are more rude ones x

  31. hannah
    December 7, 2016 / 9:49 pm

    I really don’t like bitchyness, especially in public places like Nando’s. It’s just unnecessary, the whole place doesnt want to hear them x

  32. Michelle
    December 7, 2016 / 9:15 pm

    One word…LOVE!! From one mummy to another you rock and give your kids a big hug from someone who would def wave back! Xo

  33. December 7, 2016 / 9:13 pm

    Ah, sometimes I feel like I’m a still a teenager, and then I come across some actual teens and I change my mind! Sometimes like they’re on another planet!

  34. December 7, 2016 / 8:54 pm

    I don’t know if it’s ‘getting old’ or life experiences but Jesus it makes me wonder what I was like at 16 in public places, that I wasn’t like some of these teenagers. Plus, I love the name Edith, I like how a lot of the timeless names are coming back for another generation. When little kids come up to me or stare at me I find it so sweet that an innocent child wants to be inquisitive, no harm in a smile and a little wave. They’re not going to rob or take my life. Plus I agree, their time will come when they if blessed are a mother who has to deal with unkind situations. x

  35. December 7, 2016 / 5:54 pm

    I am sorry but maybe because I am still not adult enough or a parent but I would bitch slapped some idiocrisy from those teenages. How can they bitch about there friend and complain about there dad not allowing them to sleep over at night. The same toddler they were sneering at would be the result of that sleepover.

    Nice post and you’re too kind

  36. December 7, 2016 / 10:47 am

    High Five right at you! And for the record I adore the name Edith, I think it is totally cool x

  37. December 7, 2016 / 10:15 am

    I hate it that situations like this happen. I’d understand if Edith was being unbearable but as you said children exist and she’s not hurting anyone x

  38. December 7, 2016 / 12:52 am

    Yes Toby! You go for it girl, they sound awful and I hate how rude they were to you and poor Edith. Sad that they were bitching about their friend too!

  39. December 6, 2016 / 11:27 pm

    Lol, I love the way this is written. It did have me giggling quite a bit. It’s hard sometimes when you go out with little ones they don’t stay still or keep quite but that’s kids for you and people should give you some leeway.

  40. December 6, 2016 / 11:11 pm

    I’m sorry you had such a rubbish experience – kindness and manners are so important and I hope the girls learn this!

  41. December 6, 2016 / 10:52 pm

    Holla holla. Totes get u, bae. (See how super cool and down with the kids I am?).

    I’ve generally become an opinionated and outspoken bitch of a mother (sleep deprivation does that to you, doesn’t it) and shouted at an elderly dickhead in Card Factory last Tuesday. You’re a better mum than me, I’d have gone full on bitch-mode on these girls. Then gone to bed wishing them kids that never sleep, for eternity.

  42. December 6, 2016 / 10:42 pm

    Fantastic letter and so to the point I wish you had put these rude girls in their place there and then!!!

  43. December 6, 2016 / 9:17 pm

    This letter is so perfect! It really annoys me that teenagers of today are like this, I know I always had respect and a smile for everyone… I sure as hell would have smiled or waved back at a child too. Even though I became a mum at a very young age, I still behaved like that before my ‘adult’ life came into play. My sisters are much younger than me and are still in their teenage years, they act exactly like this which annoys and upsets me, they think they are so entitled and they’re so mean. I really hope you never have to go through something like this again xx

  44. December 6, 2016 / 8:21 pm

    aw love this I actually have 2 teen girls and thankfully I hope mine are not bitchy towards others but I sure hear a lot of bitching going on and mainly on social media

  45. December 6, 2016 / 6:41 pm

    Teens with there attitudes drive me mad! My eldest son is 11 and half going on 15. he has some serious attitude moments.

  46. December 6, 2016 / 4:00 pm

    Well said, I have teenagers and they have been brought up to have manners and be kind to others, luckily I think they are ok but in a group you never know. If with my Daughter and I see this behaviour she usually gets the you had better not behave like that talk x

  47. December 6, 2016 / 2:43 pm

    Can you just imagine their shock when they finally learn that the world truly does not revolve around them and they have much bigger things to worry about? But you are right, karma has a way of teaching us what we need to know, and they will learn what it is truly important.

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