Why I don’t like my January birthday…

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I’ve never been a big fan of my January birthday. Not for the usual reasons though – this has nothing to do with age, in fact, I remember laughing at my husband for having a meltdown that he was turning 30… I mean, really? It’s a number, also, they tell me 30 comes with a sense of new found don’t-give-a-fuckery. 30 sounds like my time to shine.

No, I don’t like my birthday, which is today, because it is SUCH a ball ache. An inconvenience. So it’s just under two weeks after the Christmas and New Year’s madness, which means it’s highly unlikely that a.) Anyone will have any money and b.) I will fit into any of my party clothes. It’s a time for people to retreat, to wish they hadn’t over spent and to attempt to shift the excess bulk they put on with all the booze and eating over the holiday season. There is no room for birthdays, perhaps by the end of the month, but on the 9th? Hell no.

The money thing has to be the biggest bug bare of mine, with I guess shows my age! I think people slot into two categories at Christmas: sensible and excessive. We don’t slip into the last category, we ENCOMPASS the last category. We over spend on food, alcohol, gifts, activities… we just go mad. Every year we say we won’t and in fairness this year we were better than before but it’s still pretty safe to say we (looking at you, Adam) went a little OTT. This year was also a learning curve for us, we didn’t have the freelance lifestyle to contend with last year like we did this year – companies rarely pay on time, and when they do, you are so busy chasing your tail from the payments that are late, your money is spent before you can say “bankrupt”. It is a case of learning the balance, learning how to manage this new wage style where there is no certainty, no fixed date. At this time of year, the planner in me wants to shine like a beacon of adulthood and look towards making the New Year a success, with more saving, less expense and then… birthday.

On top of that, I feel like there is some pressure to buy for me, especially from Adam and my mum. I am a very lucky girl (don’t worry, I will refrain from using #blessed) and I really don’t want for much. So I often see my birthday as an unnecessary expense, something that pulls the plug on the drain of our finances. It’s a pain in the arse to be blunt. That isn’t to say I don’t appreciate the gifts I’m given – far from it. I love them and appreciate them wholeheartedly, I’d just rather they didn’t have to come NOW. I often think that as a mum of young children, I have an inbuilt desire to ignore my own wants or desires in favour of concentrating on what could be more important for the children.

Lastly, and probably most pathetically, my birthday has always been a time to be reminded that I have very few “real” friend’s. It’s a reminder of a certain element of loneliness. Of the little friend’s I do have outside of the instagram world or this box-shaped portal to companionship in front of me, I feel like they have become more distant over the last year, with sudden “missed invites” to events that occurred only days after speaking. While the facebook messages of “Happy Birthday Chick” roll in from college friend’s who can’t remember anything about me other than that I used to look rough on a Tuesday morning after a bender on student night (student night, on a Monday… what was I thinking?), the physical friends to hug and hold aren’t really there anymore. I don’t think this is a January thing per-se, I think this is a really common occurrence for adults, with true friends few and far between and often at the other end of a WhatsApp message thanks to being scattered across the world as adulthood claims us all.

This isn’t the doom and gloom post it might come across as, rather that I think I’ve come to *that* age where my birthday has fizzled out, it isn’t really important to me anymore – it really is just another year.

How do you feel about birthdays?

H x

43 Comments

  1. Lynne Harper
    January 18, 2017 / 4:33 pm

    My husbands birthday is on New Years Eve, he absolutely hates it and yes hate is a strong word but it sums up his thoughts lol. Everyone wants to celebrate a New Year, nobody wants to celebrate his birthday. With it being so close after Christmas people just don’t have the money, tho I spoil him rotten. I have so much empathy for people who have birthdays so close to the big day. You need to start celebrating your half birthdays instead 😛 x

    • Harriet January 19, 2017 / 10:50 am

      I think I really should haha! My mum used to put off my birthday party until it was better weather!

  2. January 13, 2017 / 4:32 pm

    Happy birthday for earlier this week. Mine’s tomorrow and I totally know how you feel. All of my friends are always poor so we can never do anything super exciting like we do for others birthdays and the weathers always so rubbish x

  3. January 13, 2017 / 11:42 am

    My birthday is five days before Christmas and I hate having my birthday that close to the big day. No-one ever has any money and trying to organise a night out or meal is painful with the amount of Christmas events everyone else has. Plus I seem to get joint presents rather than separate ones – and that annoys me! x

    • Harriet January 13, 2017 / 11:43 am

      It’s so frustrating isn’t is?

  4. January 11, 2017 / 10:45 pm

    We know a lot of people that have birthdays around Christmas and in early January and they aren’t big fans because of the timing issues. Thankfully I was born 1 week late which pushed me over the next pay packet into Feb! 😉

    • Harriet January 12, 2017 / 1:28 pm

      Haha you lucky devil!

  5. January 10, 2017 / 11:49 am

    My sisters is on the 28th of December so I know what you mean. Hope your day was better than anticipated! Love your pyjamas! I bought the same ones for my children for their Christmas card photo shoot. x

  6. January 10, 2017 / 7:06 am

    I get disheartened by birthdays these days! It’s just not as exciting as when you’re a kid! Turning 30 was great for me, I felt new again and on reflection I found 30 was the older, better version of myself – my head was screwed on a bit more.
    I know what you mean about friends though, I’ve weeded out a few toxic friendships and now only have a handful, but if they can’t do things it’s hard to not feel sorry for the fact I only have a few friends.

  7. January 10, 2017 / 12:31 am

    I completely agree with you, I don’t like my September birthday for similar reasons, it makes me feel lonely too. Still its good that you have all your family around you.

    • Harriet January 10, 2017 / 3:31 pm

      A really lonely time isn’t it?

  8. January 9, 2017 / 11:59 pm

    Birthdays close to Christmas must be a nightmare, my son was born 20th december and we do try to make a fuss but know most years things are just swept along with the christmas scene!

  9. January 9, 2017 / 11:43 pm

    FIRST OF ALL HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    Secondly, I totally feel for you 🙁 My birthday is this thursday and it’s my little girls birthday friday.
    I try hard to make her day special, and mine sort of gets forgotten. Also, I agree with all your points. It honestly shows me I have little to no TRUE friends who actually care about my birthday.
    Also the fact that people even family tend to forget about it, or remember last minute and give you a leftover clearly CHRISTMAS presents, or Christmas wrapping.

    JANUARY BIRTHDAYS SUCK.

  10. Olivia Kirby
    January 9, 2017 / 10:32 pm

    I am 40 this month, but it’s right near the end, the 28th, my eldest’s is the 21st of the month but I find little un’s on 20th December more a pain as no one is free to do anything for him. I couldn’t give a hoot if no one has any money for mine as I don’t want anything from anyone, I also have no friends hahah! Seeing as it’s my 40th though I have taken advantage of babysitting offers and my husband and I are off to Dublin for that weekend. I love spoiling my children on their birthdays but that’s it, I don’t want people wasting time on my birthday so I kind of get annoyed at having to buy for/make a fuss of other adults! I know, I’m a grinch 🙂
    Happy Birthday XX

    • Harriet January 10, 2017 / 3:32 pm

      Haha we’ll be grinches together!

  11. Rachel
    January 9, 2017 / 10:18 pm

    Happy Birthday! I can imagine it’s not the best time. I’m not too overly fussed about Birthdays and try and book my holiday around that time to make it a little special without having to celebrate it with a party haha! P.s I absolutly love your PJs!

  12. hannah
    January 9, 2017 / 7:43 pm

    I have a friend who has a birthday in the middle of January. I don’t think she likes it either

    • Harriet January 10, 2017 / 3:33 pm

      Nope, it’s rubbish!

  13. January 9, 2017 / 6:55 pm

    I don’t care for birthdays much regardless the time of year. Well, at least not mine. At some point in life, it just seemed silly to celebrate the day. Now I prefer it passes quietly.

  14. January 9, 2017 / 6:25 pm

    First things first- Happy Birthday! I tend to feel that the birthday celebration has fizzled for me too, it does tend to be just another year. Yes, we get the social media messages from friends but having friends physically there to celebrate with you just doesn’t seem to happen anymore. And I think you are correct, it is just a common occurrence as adulthood commences. I do hope you enjoy your day somewhat though x

  15. January 9, 2017 / 3:28 pm

    I’m an end of july birthday so lucky in one way, but it comes with the fact that most friends are away on holiday enjoying time off from the school run! You can never win! I’m 35 this birthday and honestly wouldn’t be bothered if we forgot the whole thing ha ha ! Hope you manage to enjoy your day though!!

    • Harriet January 10, 2017 / 3:37 pm

      Haha Thanks lovely x

  16. January 9, 2017 / 3:28 pm

    Happy birthday! I can imagine it must be pretty tough to have a birthday this soon after Christmas. But I definitely agree that birthdays seem to feel less important with age.

  17. January 9, 2017 / 3:03 pm

    As a friend from your box of companionship I say “Happy Birthday” and send you a huge virtual hug that will probably not make up for the fact that your friends have probably forgotten your day. Why don’t you just move it to another day, one where people can’t escape it? 😉 xx

  18. January 9, 2017 / 12:45 pm

    Birthdays close to Christmas & birthdays in January always seem to be a little tricky to work around! Hopefully your day is just as special as if it was any other month though x

  19. January 9, 2017 / 12:05 pm

    Happy Birthday, my husband celebrates his birthday in January as well (next Monday) and feels the same as you x

  20. Dannii
    January 9, 2017 / 11:16 am

    My husbands birthday was just on Friday and it’s not the best time of year to have it. But we went on a trip to the Lake District for the weekend which was nice. I save some money from Christmas to be able to make it special for him.

  21. January 9, 2017 / 9:41 am

    Oh my goodness you have taken the words out of my mouth! As a fellow January birthday sufferer I feel your pain. I will be 31 this year (on the 16th) I liked turning 30 and yes it does come with a certain amount of ‘give a fuck!’ My husband had the same melt down…. men! I don’t mind the age, perhaps ask me again at 40! It’s the lack of enthusiasm from everyone around me. And in recent years even my own mother has jumped on that bandwagon because she lives a long distance away. For me it is the yearly reminder of who actually cares that I struggle with. Credit where it is due though my husband always makes sure she has budgeted my birthday in and I am always spoilt rotten by him. I think he saw how upset I was a few years back (24 if I remember correctly) where it completely ignored by everyone other than him and my best friend.
    Sorry for the long comment but you struck a chord! I could probably moan about it all day 😂 Happy Birthday! I hope it wasn’t as bad as you expected xx

    • Harriet January 9, 2017 / 12:34 pm

      Right? It’s dispiriting isn’t it? I mean, I don’t actually want anything specific but it would be nice to feel cared about by someone other than my mum and husband haha! That being said, I should count myself lucky that they care (unless the football is on, then my husband would choose that over me too haha!)

      • Kerry
        January 9, 2017 / 6:46 pm

        My birthday is on Boxing Day and this year was also my first birthday without my mum, I couldn’t bear the thought of plastering on a smile on Christmas Day and then starting all over again on Boxing Day, so I cancelled it!! Told all my friends and family I would take the hit on the year but no celebrations and bless them they supported and accepted that. It became Scarborough Day instead, it was much more refreshing than a post Christmas birthday when everyone is on an emotional come down from Christmas Day!! Any birthday between the 26th Dec and the 31st Jan is pants! Xxx

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