7 Things no one tells you about having 3 kids

There are so many things that people will say to you about having three kids but there are a few things that absolutely no one tells you… or perhaps they do and we just choose not to believe them!

Anyway, here I am to give you a heads up… or if you’re looking for inspiring posts about having three kids to show your partner then I’m all about providing that virtual contraception…

No one tells you…

Note the finger in Toby’s ear? Like I said… constant fights.
  • That the fact the children now outnumber you and a partner is no small thing. In fact it is freakin huge – did you know you’re now the minority in your own home? You are. You’re at a disadvantage and I hate to break it to you but navigating what is now a squad of small humans is incredibly hard when they outnumber you and can tag team.
  • That you don’t have enough hands. You knew you had two right? SO WHY DID YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD COPE WITH MORE KIDS? Seriously though – two hands for dispensing drinks, so someone is crying whilst waiting. Two legs for bouncing kids… so someone is crying waiting. Two hips to carry… but rest assured you have shoulders to sit the third on so you’re good to go there (also, look into chiropractors).
  • That you will spend countless hours separating squabbles and fights. You separate two and send them on their merry way, it’s all good… but when you have three I guarantee you that your third child will see their siblings being in trouble for fighting as a hint that they should get involved and exacerbate the issue. If they don’t successfully increase the trouble their siblings are in by fanning the flames, they will take the view of “if you can’t beat them, join them” and they will join in the bickering until you end up with a small human in every room because joint time out stations just make it worse…
  • They don’t just team up against you but each other too. It’s true. They will team up against each other and there are no hard and fast rules as to who will be pals on what day. One day Edith and Reuben are besties and the next day she’s told him that she only likes Toby which infuriates and confuses him in equal measures, much to her delight.
  • Three times the mess right? Nope. Your home is about to look like road runner went through it on a freight train that had open doors. I thought that three kids would mean three times the mess of one but no no, it’s like they are competing…
  • See also, “I didn’t make that mess, Reuben and Toby didddddd. I’M NOT PICKING UP THEIR MESS” for everything.
  • You will never again be able to do anything without interruption. Never.
  • Every day you will forget something for someone. Dinner money, nappies… there will always be something. There is just too much STUFF. With two kids you need a lot but a third doesn’t feel like a “just one extra set of stuff” it feels like someone emptied a dump site in your house and gave you a clutch to carry it all in.

2 Comments

  1. July 16, 2019 / 5:10 am

    Thanks for your article!It was really inspiring and I’ll definitely share it with my partner!!

  2. Karen Burroughs
    June 25, 2019 / 8:12 am

    Oh so so true. My three are all grown up now (unless they’re all together in my home then they regress) 34,31 and 26. I remember telling a niece that the jump from one to two children was no problem but two to three is huge, HUGE.

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