Every one makes mistakes, we know that. Mums are absolutely no different, they make mistakes allllllll the time. The biggest mistakes might surprise you though. You probably think it’s “losing their shit” or “feeding their kids too much sugar” but it’s not. Not even close
Here’s the top 5 mistakes that you don’t want to keeping making if you’re a mum
1.) Comparing yourself (and your kids)
Ohhh sod off. You know you do this all the time. Yes, you do!! You compare yourself in every way possible: am I as chilled out? Do I have as much control over my kids (my answer is unequivocally no, every damn time)? And even Do I show love as well? Then you also do something that you will tell yourself you don’t because it feels mean: you compare your kids. Does Billy listen better than Timmy? Does Billy play nicer? Is Billy smarter? You do it, and as hard as it is to convince yourself, you need to knock it off. When I’m doing this, I take a step back and try to remind myself that EVERY ONE is doing this. We all fall prey of operation comparison, and its a total fail
2.) Second guessing yourself
Did I do that right? Was that the best decision? Was that going to be ok for my kids or have I screwed them up and caused them whopping bills for therapy for life
Stop it. Take the time to think it through, make your decision and then stop guessing whether it was the right one. Have faith in yourself and your ability to parent. You GOT this… and in the occasions that you don’t got this, that you do fuck up, you need to remember that so does everyone else. Think about what you did “wrong” and decide how you would like to do it differently next time. This parenting gig is tough, so assessing your balls ups is best done with cake and a glass of vino
3.) Allowing others to undermine you.
You are the parent here. What you say goes. So all the advice (unsolicited or otherwise) is just advice. You don’t have to feel like it it is something you should be bound to. You’re not. Your family, your rules… and that really is the end of it. I think 9/10 it’s wholly unintentional, but it still can’t happen.
4.) Judging yourself
I’m too hard on myself. I know I am, but then I often think I’m not hard enough. I question myself (see point two!) and then I judge what I did. Why did I get it so wrong…? God I’m rubbish at this! And so on and so forth. Repeatedly. It becomes a vicious cycle of Adam telling me to chill the fuck out before I give myself a heart attack and not be so unkind to myself, and me… well, being mean girls MEAN to myself. Don’t do it. Don’t judge yourself so harshly
5.) Not allowing yourself a break
You can’t be someone’s everything 24/7. That is essentially what you are when you are a parent. You’re there for your child constantly. Their nurse, chef, bum-wiper, pant puller-upper, dogs body and general slave. Often with very little thanks. Often with very little time to just be yourself and remember who you were before the sprogs appeared.
This list is as much for me by the way as it is for anyone else. I defy anyone to tell me that they don’t do one of these five things at least once a week and then feel abysmal about it for days on end. I mean, parenting is tough
So yeah. Stop making these 5 mistakes and you will be dandy. Ish.